Sunday, 9 August / LOVES, LONGINGS & AN APOLOGY

Long time no see! I've seen a number of blogposts apologising for absence, though usually this accommodates a certainty that there is a vast audience logging in each day praying to see a new post. Given that this blog exists as an outlet for testing out fancy words and awkward posing, I figure there's no one to apologise to. In the event that someone else is reading this besides my mother, my 'absence' is owing to my current 3 month internship and a preoccuption with starting Slimming World and managing to eat more chocolate than ever before (nothing inspires a Magnum ice cream binge more than someone telling you that creme fraiche and a toffee yoghurt will satisfy sweet cravings - my chocolate edged mouth begs to differ). Alas my long-awaited return (ahem) begins, and I re-enter the blogisphere with a compilation of some stuff I'm loving - this includes bits and bobs from my wishlist that I still can't afford, despite entering the working world, that I bloody wish I could. Let's call it 'loves and longings', because if I don't have a way with words after a 3 year degree in English then what do I have (... a Slimming World magnet ironically placed on my fridge).

Chanel Rouge Coco Ultra Hydrating Lip Colour in 'Adrienne' - I went to check out MAC 'Faux' when shopping recently and was a little disappointed with the 'dupable' nature of it (Rimmel's Kate Moss collection has a few similar nude mauve shades). Having read decent reviews of these Chanel lipsticks, I swatched a few and left my shopping trip obsessed with shade 402 -  Adrienne. with enough shine to glide on the lips and freshen a makeup look, combined with a gentle nude beige tone, this lipstick is my new everything. Or it will be, if I can ever justify £25 on a lippy...

Clarins Radiance Glow Booster -  This is something I've been desperate to try for a long time. A few drops of this is my moisturiser and my pale face sort of matches my tanned-ish bod (2 weeks in Portugal and 3 more freckles to show for it). I was tempted to buy this on the plane by its tax-free price tag. Add Jet2's extra 20% off and this baby was mine. I'm now glowing my way through writing this and debating dripping the stuff all over my sunburnt limbs.

Nina Ricci Perfume - There's something about the duty free section of an airport that feels almost like a limbo, a purgatory in which money isn't real and everything is shiny and appealing. With every turn you'll hear phrases such as 'well if you want it you'll never get it this cheap anywhere else'... GIVE IT TO ME. That is how Nina, my first ever perfume 5 years ago, re-entered my life. I'm now smelling sweet, if slightly sickly, and can confirm after checking my account, duty free money is very much real, just like my debt. 

House of Sunny Ribbed Crop Top - I've been eyeing this little number up since discovering the brand a few months back, when it was selling at full price. Now it's  reduced, it may be time to utilise the last of my student loan before accepting my new title as a graduate. The structure of this crop top would add emphasis to any outfit, it screams quality and... well i don't want to tempt you anymore incase they sell out.

'Eyes Shut' Years and Years - Everyone and their granny will have heard this by now but, given that I've never owned an iPod or Spotify and still frequently mistake band names with song names (anyone heard Foxes by Bodytalk? *silence*), I'm bragging about liking this one. Anyway, branching from Michael Bublé and musical soundtracks, my little sister shared her headphones with me en route to Portugal and I was welcomed to a world of adolescent angst and painfully cool-ness, oh and Years and Years. This is my new favourite song for sure, so give it a listen (or a re-listen if you're a 21 year old with a normal taste in music).

Well that concludes my latest short-story list. Back from my holiday, suffering with major blues and comfort eating my way through a bowl of raisins (HA, sure), I pledge to post more often. Until next time!

Tuesday, 26 May / Skincare Essentials: Dr. Organic

I am forever in turmoil over the radically spontaneous nature of my skin. The fortnightly tease of a 'good skin day' is overruled by acne, oil and hyper pigmentation on more frequent occasion. Having checked my way through a medical shopping list of various gels, creams and tablets, I came to the devastating realisation that perhaps what was going onto my face wasn't causing what was going on on my face. So, along with attempting to reduce dairy ever so slightly (and failing, god dam you Whittard's hot chocolate), altering my contraceptive choice, and becoming an obsessive cleanser, I decided to look further into my skincare measures to solve the problem of 'problem skin'. 

My long-enduring best friend, flatmate and life advisor introduced me to Dr. Organic skincare back in second year of university, no doubt after enduring my latest rant over stressed-out skin and an inability to buy cheap, own-brand mozzarella in our local Tesco. We scurried into Holland and Barrett after a lengthy (ahem) gym session and in that moment, she converted me to a brand who take pride in utilising 'natural and organic raw materials'.  I began with using the Tea Tree soap as a cleanser, following the removal of my makeup. I've always taken immense pleasure in the simplicity of a bar of soap; transported with ease, looks fancy by the sink and takes a few minutes to soak the face before left feeling fresh. However, standard soaps can often leave the skin feeling dry and, in fact, overproduce oil, as they strip the natural oils from the skin. Well, my low-maintance, soapy needs have been satisfied with this little number. After removing my makeup with Bioderma, I lather this little guy into my hands and caress my face for longer than I need to, to revitalise and thoroughly remove any nastiness remaining on my sensitive skin. I can 100% say that I have noticed a huge difference in the appearance of my skin since getting personal with this soap. The soaps come in various types, from my favourite, Tea Tree, to Vitamin E and can be bought from Holland and Barrett (they often have offers on this brand, and throughout the store so take advantage!)

My love affair with the Dr doesn't end there however, as I have recently acquired his Olive Oil Day Cream.  This, along with an assortment of lip balms that appear to have finally rendered my lips acceptable for venturing outdoors (minus cracks and cuts), contribute to my opinion that this brand has truly revolutionised my skincare routine and, therefore, life. Perhaps it sounds extreme, but as a bad-skin-sufferer for almost ten years and a victim to stress-induced breakouts, it is exhausting to hunt for a helpful brand, and incredible to find one that settles these situations and uses natural ingredients. I urge you to give it a try and have fun experimenting with all Dr. Organic has to offer. Next on my list is the Snail Gel, purely for intrigue of this strange little pot of snaily goodness.

This brand has massively helped with the reduction of my acne, but I've also discovered another little gem for dealing with the aftermath: acne scars. Look out for a post coming up on that soon. 

Monday, 11 May / Tips for the Stressed-Out Student

Given that my flatmates and I have ventured outdoors only one day this week, and, therefore, have remained in fleece loungewear throughout this duration, I have been unable to offer any form of ‘ootd’ throughout the past few weeks. Unless you wish to witness how I style my maternity joggers (I'm not pregnant, unless you count food baby, but these have proven a valuable gift from my mother during these biscuit-fuelled, revision times), leopard print dressing gown and assorted character socks, then I’m afraid we reach an unavoidable conclusion: I am not allowed to discuss personal style during this difficult time. Instead, given that I can’t remember a time before my current deadlines, and so the opportunity to discuss anything except Shakespeare is enough to make me physically smile, today I am popping something a little spicy up on my blog, and by spicy, I mean anything except the Iambic Pentameter. So here is my post to you today: an unfashionable, unadulterated and, hopefully not uninteresting, compilation of my current recommendations and general thoughts to pull you through uni stress. I will warn that this emerges as procrastination, so grab a cuppa and make yourself comfortable.

Take a break

My preferred activity during this time is to watch ITV Be: I was originally unsure of the concept of this but now ‘struggle to find the remote and change the channel’ when Dinner Date, Don’t Tell The Bride or Millionaire Matchmaker is gracing the screen. These TV breaks are heightened by the commentary of my flatmates, who are an essential component to not losing your mind during exam time. If possible, try and make a few friends who are also decent at head massages, this has proven invaluable over the last few weeks.

Find a treat food that genuinely excites you

Is this embarrassing to confess? Perhaps. Digestive biscuits were my original holy grail, but the transition to Nice Creams has got me just about as excited as that time Harry Styles winked at me in the back row of an area at a One Direction concert (don’t argue, just let me believe it). Though for my more nutritious flatmates, figs, bran flakes and a light salad may satisfy their tasty cravings during revision breaks, I find the sugar of a cracking biscuit an essential tool for an afternoon’s graft. I sometimes opt for raspberries also, just to keep things interesting and the love handles at bay.

Read for fun

Whether this is your Twitter feed, Daily Mail Online (nothing will make you feel less stressed about your own problems than the ‘nightmare’ situations posted on that website), a few articles on The Guardian or a juicy novel you’ve been desperate to start. Cleansing your mind of equations, formulas, or in my case, darling William Shakespeare, will keep your work interesting and revitalised when you return to it: just make sure you do…

Listen to music

This is a tough one for me as I actually can't handle lyrics playing in the background whilst I work. The number of times I’ve began a sentence about a modernist author and it has concluded with the lyrics to a Taylor Swift track is astounding. I do, however, believe that a little background noise helps prevent the descent into insanity during this difficult time, so give instrumental tracks a try. My current favourite is a Disney compilation instrumental, though my inability to stop singing along is perhaps defeating the purpose. Either way, embracing Mulan’s ‘I'll Make A Man Out Of You’ is just the inspiring mantra I need to power through my essays.

Do not let it break you

We’ve probably all witnessed this in various forms. My 'breakdown' occured last year and involved lots of tears and subsequent pizza. More recently, I've experienced a number of physical screams circling our little house from a flatmate who just can't take it. For me, the key to overcoming the university breakdown was being surrounded by an incredible network of friends and family and their reassuring comments. Though it may not have felt like it at the time, I promise your degree isn’t everything/the end of the world. Try to remind yourself that you’re there for a reason. Whether you were chosen by interview or from your application, someone at some point decided they wanted you as a representative of their establishment. Allow yourself breaks without the guilt (though pizza guilt is a tough one to shake), talk about it when you’re struggling, drink lots of water (infused with coffee granules and milk…), and be proud of absolutely every decision you make, as there is no worse feeling than regret (and photographic evidence is surprisingly erasable).

My recent posts appear entirely related to university life at the moment which, though I do apologise for, is relatively unavoidable given my current situation. Roughly one more month then the last three years will officially become the ‘best days of my life’ as a generic term in conversation and exist only as memories. These tips emerge as a personal realisation that allowing the more difficult aspects of university life to overpower you, only diminishes the genuiney incredible times that you will want to always remember. So grab yourself a Nice Cream, snuggle up to a friend and have a good old bitch about life’s struggles. I promise you’ll feel 100% better before returning to your work. If not, use the sugar high for singing along to that Disney medley: you won't regret it.

Sunday, 03 May / Place to Shop: GAP

My first encounter with GAP was a pale, duck egg blue fleece hoodie with the infamous letters boldy splurged across the front. I wore my blue fleece with pride, acknowledging this as my first entry to designer wear, whilst my older sister donned the identical version in pink. In our GAP jumpers, we joined the collective of school kids promoting the same attire: this being the latest trend craze, before the Jane Norman shopping bag or platform trainers. So long as my mum was dressing me in the morning, I'd be wearing my GAP. Nowadays, though she may no longer choose my outfits, my mum has continued to push me in the direction of this American-branded store for my casual basics and sports-luxe attire, establishing a relationship that has ensured a loyalty as strong as that to completing the "Lost" series (6 years of confusion and Josh Holloway appreciation). 

Last weekend, on a shopping trip with my aforementioned older sister and not-so-little little sister, we entered the realm of GAP and remained indoors for almost an hour. Granted, the 2 changing rooms and 6-person queue influenced this duration, but the mass of decent clothing held my attention for almost as long as Sawyer and Kate's "never have I ever" scene of season 1. Clambering into the changing room with more than I could afford to buy, I began the rigmarole of the dressing room routine which usually leaves me heavily disappointed and very much in-pocket. Instead, everything was nice. I mean everything. You know those 'yes'/'no'/'maybe' piles you're forced to create on really great shopping trips? The yes pile was stacking up and it was exciting.

From skinny jeans to lightweight bomber jackets, the cut of the clothing was adhering to the temperamental curves of my body that usually causes immense distress in changing rooms. I pulled back the curtain and smugly smiled to the sales assistant in response to his question "any good?". "I'll take it all". 

Perhaps this has become somewhat of a novella, and in fact, I purchased five items, not the entirety of the collection. But my point (if there is one), is that I found some quality clothing, in the perfect size, with a sale price reduced to a further 20% when I hit the till. Is there ever a greater feeling than that?! I returned the following day, unable to shake the thought of the pale grey utility jacket I'd become acquainted with on my first trip. Regrettably spending a further spritz of my work wages (though really not regretting at all), I genuinely felt sorrow waving goodbye to my new favourite shop. With my nearest GAP a small concession in a local department store, the probability of finding such success within the clothing rails again seems far in the future. Though with a now fully stocked wardrobe of key transition pieces to head toward the summer, via this gloomy month of April, perhaps that's for the best.

If you're of any shape (my sisters and I vary greatly between clothing size and eating habits: read - I can't put down the chocolate), and appreciate minimal basics with a relaxed yet sophisticated vibe, do check out GAP in its current state. Our love affair began many years ago, and we're still in the honeymoon phase. 

Monday, 20 April / A Stressful Excuse for Nostalgia

I thought, during exam period of second year at university, that my academic life had reached it's peak of stress. The accumulation of anxiety, weight gain and financial worries left me so down that even the suggestion of a 'pick-me-up' Dominos takeaway did little to stir a smile. Flash forward almost exactly one year and I'm living to disprove this supposed 'stress climax' of 2014. Today, typing this through caffeine fused fingertips, I relish the procrastination of writing a blogpost to distract from my impending dissertation deadline.

This stress arrives in a new form. It is a type of diluted fear that has gradually gained concentration over the past two months as the realisation of just how important this piece of work is has began to settle in. For me, as for many other students, particularly those of English degrees, my dissertation has become a type of academic pregnancy. A little seed that has grown in size over the past year (since starting in September), gaining priority as it adapts and evolves on the page and in my mind. More so than the depth of knowledge that has been required to complete this task, I am incredibly proud of the ideas that have emerged through the process. Someone once told me that, following your dissertation, no written piece will ever prove as important: 'you will never stop talking about it, ever'. Though I hope that my career will ultimately be situated within the journalism field, and so pride in my writing will eternally prevail, I do believe that I have been stung by the dissertation-obsessed bug. In reality, when I'm asked what my study is 'about', I am left dumbfounded in finding the words to justify a piece of such extremity; with three chapters, 10,000 words and a yet to be confirmed title. This is not owing to a lack of understanding regarding my own topic (with feminism and Gothic sexuality perhaps emerging as my new 'pub quiz specialist subjects'), but more so, my inability to do justice to such themes and authors as those I am discussing. 

I suppose I am simply inspired at the moment. Reading women's magazines in a new light and unsure of the implications of how I dress in the morning (spending far too much time swapping between shoes to achieve the best 'look' - I will, however, never apologise for my obsession with style as the essentiality of looking good will never leave me). As my dissertation 'baby' has developed, I feel more pressure to conform to the demands of nurturing it. I fill buckets of coffee to prepare for all-nighters that I won't make it through, I begin a  'shake diet', so I needn't worry about cooking on an evening and I whine throughout the day about having no spare time for anything until April 30th. In reality, I'm managing to enjoy it. Living in a home with my best friends in the world has proved that with the right company, you can make it through anything. On hand as my personal proofreaders, comedy-providers and kitchen helpers, they have genuinely played a part in the (hopeful) success of my dissertation.

As I smile to myself, sipping on my latest cup of coffee, and typing about those that have contributed to my happiness throughout this time, I am aware of the ticking clock in the background. Much like the impending time piece that falls and is caught by Gatsby when reunited with his true love Daisy, time has become a valuable asset in more ways than one recently. A reminder of how little time I have to finish my almost 'full-term' dissertation baby, but more so, the time I can enjoy with the people at university who have grown alongside me. Though this may have began as a helpless purge of procrastination, it finishes as a reminder to acknowledge the good things alongside the bad. Perhaps I won't find the ultimate quote to include in my final chapter, that perfectly characterises my entire argument through one carefully constructed collection of language, but what I do know, is that when I flip down my laptop screen and head to refill my essential caffeine lifeline, there will be good friends to relax with, a loving family at the end of a phone line and a happy future waiting to whisk me away when this challenging and exciting adventure is all over. 

Wednesday, 08 April / Space NK Wishlist

Space NK are currently offering a £10 off £40 spend online. What a way to brighten the dissertation black hole I am currently encased in. 

I first entered Newcastle's store as an excitable 18 year old, perusing brands beside my usual drugstore favourites. With enough money to afford a tissue to wipe my excessive lipstick swatches (read: no money at all), I was determined to return with a swollen purse and knowledge of which products were 'essential'. One Space NK makeover later and I am an avid fan of the store, even knowing the names of the staff... perhaps too much of a fan? I've dabbled in Nars, Darphin, Laura Mercier and Kevyn Aucoin since getting acquainted with shop and it's online companion but look forward to expanding my Space NK collection thanks to the current website offer. Although I can't justify purchasing the entirety of this wish list, I thought I'd share my current 'wants'. So here's a little shopping list of items that won't be bought (...until my student loan graces my bank account). 

1. Darphin Aromatic Purifying Balm: the Space NK website informs that this product 'contains a blend of 12 essences to help dissolve impurities, repair damaged tissue and balance skin'. Though Bioderma is my ultimate cleanser, removing my makeup in the gentlest way, the luxury of this French balm appeals to me. The nourishing qualities promise to protect and perfect my skin, an offer I simply can't refuse.

2. Nars Sheer Glow: an old favourite. I've owned this foundation twice before and always come back to it (cover your ears Clarins Extra Comfort). Though it will always have a place in my makeup bag, I tend to repurchase when offers such as these are available, and when my skin needs an extra dewy boost.

3. Nars Audacious Lipstick (Barbara): this one has featured on my shopping list since the release of the collection. It's taken a while to choose my ultimate shade but I think 'Barbara' just makes the cut. It's that perfect nude-rose that wouldn't go amiss on a certain Miss Jenner (come on, we're all still trying!)

4. Laura Mercier Radiance Primer: I discovered this one through a Fleur De Force video and, though I had often considered purchasing the primer, I was not aware of the 'radiance' alternative. Anything that claims to ensure radiance and involves the word 'tan' is sure to be a favourite of mine. I think this one is an essential...

5. Diptyque Philosykos: *closes tab checking the spelling of this product* This fragrance is so luxurious whilst maintaining a freshness that is impossible to dislike. To me, this seems the perfect summertime scent and would help ease the transition from turtleneck to t-shirt (I'm just not emotionally ready). 

So thanks to Space NK for providing a wonderful online offer and some expensive procrastination...

Wednesday, 01 April / Paris Reminiscing

Okay, I couldn't resist adding a few more. These are my virtual scrapbook kind of pictures (the ones that probably only I care about). 

If heading to Paris in the near future (...take me with you?) be sure to check out all of these places:

Cafe Kitsuné - if at least for their own soundtrack played inside
Musée de l'Orangerie - I'll never stop going on about this. Well I did for a little while after my mum embarrassingly highlighted my mispronunciation of Monet. Now that's a way to strip your pretentious intelligence in an instant
Le Petit Cafe - Near the Pantheon and ripe with authenticity and cracking steak/frites
Colette store - maybe, like me, you are the wannabe milk bowl to your cool cat boyfriend. Even still, this store contained every brand that Mark obsesses with and every brand he's training me to appreciate. I also spotted some of the best-dressed women I've ever seen inside. It just harbours coolness
Shakespeare and Company - a famous bookstore on the left bank of Paris. There is an abundance of secondhand books to peruse, read and sniff (old books, anyone else?). I bought Zelda Fitzgerald's 'Save Me the Waltz', because if you can't justify a Fitzgerald purchase in Paris then where can you? 
Hotel de Buci - just go here. Find a way to stay here and do it. Please. You'll be thanking me as you bathe in luxurious comfort with free champagne and macaroons - truth

At the end of our trip, Mark and I tried to choose our favourite moment from the holiday. A mini montage occurred in my head panning through the various eateries, style spotting and incredible landmarks that I'd processed over the four days. In the end I picked this place right here - god I'm happy - more particularly, the background. This is the Tuileries Garden, or specifically, the fancy pond within. We sat around it every day and basked in the glorious sunshine whilst people watching. Despite the abundance of people and buzz of tourists, it was incredibly tranquil. I'm a sucker for sitting in silence and contemplating life and this was the ultimate place to do so. 

 FERDI!

So that concludes my photo diary of Paris. Mark and I are still emotional over having to return home and our holiday blues are only enhanced by the temperamental March weather of North-East England. I hope we can return very soon, perhaps in the winter time, so I can appreciate "how drop dead gorgeous this city is in the rain" (Midnight in Paris).